My Favorite Time

My favorite time is Ollie time! Usually at night he stays awake and hangs out with us. And he loves attention. Ollie and I both have hair issues right now, his seems to be thinning out instead of getting thicker, and my hair issues are that I'm lucky to get a shower so doing my hair, much less even brushing my hair doesn't seem to happen- thus the hat and my new "messy" hair look. Ollie doesn't seem to mind what my hair looks like and he is still just as cute to me with his little old man hair. Every now and then we can catch a smile, but mostly play time is just me getting him all excited. He makes funny faces at me and works his little legs up kicking about. I think I must kiss him a thousand times a day- who can resist kissing that cute little face? And my favorite is holding his tiny little hands and giving them kisses too!

Bumbo

I have found that it is very difficult for me to get things done! He is awake more now, which I love because he is more alert and I am still loving every moment with him but there are times when I simply need to get even the simplest things done- like taking time to feed myself, and I'm still figuring out how to do things while still keeping him happy. So today I busted out the Bumbo! It was a shower gift from Jodi and I know he is still a bit to small for it but it was fun to just give it a try and it gave me another excuse to bust out the camera (because I've been slacking on taking pictures right!) He was so tiny in it!

Good times for a little while, and then he was done!

1 Month Old

Today Ollie is one month old! We celebrated by taking him to his new pediatrician in Arizona. He's healthy and stong and still a happy little guy. He weighed in at 10.5 lbs and his height is 22" he's around the 75th percentile for both. When daddy got home today he scooped him up and when I told the doctor said he is probably going to have hazel eyes he got all excited because Matt thinks he has hazel eyes so he started talking to Ollie and telling him he is going to have hazel eyes just like his daddy (I think his eyes are blue but what do I know!) A little while later I got called into the bedroom, Matt was full of laughs- I guess he thought Ollie was big enough to start borrowing his clothes!

The doctor also said he should be eating 4-6 oz now which is good because we have been feeding him 4 oz but yesterday Matt gave him 6 oz because he was still hungry after 4, just a hungry growing boy! His other new thing is when he gets fussy he bursts out and says "Geeee!" "Geeee!" I'm going to have to video tape it because it is pretty funny. Matt decided today that he is going to give him a nickname of "Geee" instead of "Buddy" which is what we have been calling him- not sure if I'm into that name, but... he is right that "Buddy" has no meaning to it and isn't even something we decided to call him, it's more like something we just say when we're chatting with him. But I don't think he really has a nick name yet and I like that Ollie is his name and not short for anything. Happy One Month Ollie!

Baby Shower



A huge THANK YOU to my family and those that helped put together an amazing baby shower to celebrate Ollie's arrival. I know there was a lot of work that went into every detail, and I know for a fact that Marcee sacrificed sleep more than one night this week to make sure it all came together and it truly is appreciated. The decorations were perfect, the food was to die for and there was a lot of sentiment put into it all. I really appreciated Jodee's artwork that she put together about Ollie's name, and I have to say one of the best things was the surf board sugar cookies Marcee ordered as a gift for everyone to take home, not only were they beautiful to look at they had to be one of the best sugar cookies I have ever tasted!

Since my situation is a little unique and because Ollie has already arrived I had the opportunity to share a bit of the story of how he came into our lives. I remember sitting in my new rocker at 4 or 5 in the morning contemplating what I was going to say and getting a bit emotional even then, but Lance instructed me before I started that I was not allowed to cry so I did my best to hold it together, although I did forget about half of what I wanted to say I think I got the important part out. My intro to the video went a little like this...

In March Matt and I started the adoption process. Filling out the paperwork took us forever, and we are probably the first couple they have ever told to shorten their application- I turned in 29 pages and it is supposed to be about 18! We have a little tradition in our family called girls weekend and this year our theme was "Angels". In August Michelle, Natalie and I were put together as a group called "Angels of Miracles" and we had the opportunity to talk to each group of girls about the miracle of how each of them came into the world and a very special miracle, and a very special angel Matt and I were praying for. On October 2nd Matt woke me up as he excitedly ran into the room with my phone telling me we had an email- the subject said "Truly happy tears" it was from our earthly angel- Jess. She had woken up early that morning and decided that altough she knew there was no parent good enough to raise her child she was going to get on the internet and look at the parent profiles  on LDS services to prove it to herself. After putting in a very specific set of criteria the 900 plus profiles were filtered down to 41. Ten per page. She went through the first four pages and was nearly convinced that her hunch was right until she hit the last page, and there we were the only profile on the page. She said there mind as well have been a neon light around us. She spent the next three hours reading every word of our profile and the website we put together before she finally sent us the email that changed all of our lives forever. She has never waivered on her decision and I love the words she has chosen for her photo album for Ollie on facebook- the caption reads "I could never give you up, I could only give you more." She truly is our earthly angel and we have shared such an amazing journey with her. We felt so loved and supported in Utah by both her and all of her family. The put a video together for her after we left the hospital and wanted to share it with everyone that couldn't be up there so they could also experience a little piece of our journey. The video is a bit emotional but the words of the song almost seem to be written for us. Some of the things that are meaningful to me are of course the reference to our earthly angel, and the words "we couldn't live without him" (When Zach was signing the papers on Christmas day Matt and I were down stairs in the cafeteria talking about the wonder of it all and I asked him after only one day if he could live without Ollie and we both agreed that we already felt such a love and bond with him that we couldn't imagine going home without him), and "traces of her face", one of the things I love most about Ollie is his little dimple in his chin- it's the same one Jess has and I love that he inherited it from her, and finally the words "last night I read a story" how appropriate that the story of Christ's birth that is referenced in the song would be read on Christmas Eve the day of Ollie's birth. There really are no words that could ever adequately express the love and gratitude we have in our hearts for Jess and for Ollie in our lives. We are so thankful to everyone that played a part, for all of the countless prayers and fasts on our behalf that made this miracle in our lives possible. More than anything this entire experience has taught me so much more about the atonement. Jess is not perfect, but inspite of her imperfections and mistakes our Heavenly Father is intimately aware of her and knows how to succor her and make her whole again. All the while He is also intimately aware of the desires of mine and Matt's hearts and it is amazing to see how our pains and afflictions can also be taken away through this mighty miracle. I know without a doubt that the Lord's hand guided both Jessica and us to each other and that Ollie was meant to be in our home and in our hearts forever. This video is a tribute to Jessica for being brave enough to act on the promptings placed in her heart for her child.

I don't know that I got all of those words out, but I think I got most of them. There wasn't a dry eye in the room when we played the video. I think we all felt the magnitude of love Jessica had for Ollie to give him what she did. In order to lighten the mood I didn't stop it after the first video but spend the morning pulling together pictures from Ollie's first month of life and put them to my favorite song of the Chirstmas season, the one I sang all the way up to Utah "All I Want for Chirstmas is You Baby!"  Followed by the video I posted earlier of all his silly faces. Both of which brought smiles and laughter.



After the presentation we moved onto the gifts. It is kind of strange being in the spotlight like that. I was grateful that Matt happened to be in attendance at the shower (because Shaun cancelled his dunes trip because he was excited to come to the shower with Leah, Matt and Lance got up the courage to also attend). Since he was there I made him come up and open presents with me- I think he rather enjoyed it. One of my favorites was a sweet little picture Charity made, she had two hearts cut out that she wrote "I love you" on that went along with it, Matt and I both wore one the rest of the day! I was also super touched that Janet (Marcee's mother-in-law that has adopted Matt and I) made Ollie a quilt, that meant a lot. And I loved the embroidered surf pillow that Aunt Lyn made for him as well. I think Matt's favorite was the Ollie books. The list goes on and on, every present really was amazing and thoughtful and we felt so loved even before opening all those presents! I did tell everyone that we had a rule in the hospital that anyone that came had to get a picture with Ollie and that the same rule applied to the shower, so before anyone was let out the door they got a picture. All in all it was a great party- so grateful to everyone that put so much time, effort, and love into it!

Uncle Nick and Aunt Natalie

Baby brother Nick and Natalie came over tonight with the girls to meet Ollie. It was so fun hanging out with them and catching up! Still so excited for Nick and Thad and all they is accomplishing at Night Rider, I hope Ollie gets Jess's artistic abilities because he will fit right in with this family of artists.

Ralph Lauren Poster Child

Matt came home with a gift from one of his clients today. They were kind enough to spoil Ollie with the cutest little Ralph Lauren layette set. I'm in love with it! I dressed him up and put him with the package- the perfect little poster child- SO CUTE! So grateful to all the people that have been so touched by his story and so supportive.

Visit from Carrie

Today Ollie got to meet Carrie and his cousins Jaylee and Drextin or the first time. Little Jaylee is so cute, Carrie sent me a text the day we left for Utah telling me that Jaylee, who has only said a few prayers in her young life had prayed the night before for me and Matt and Jess and the baby three times! I finally got to thank her for all her cute little prayers and she will always know she was a part of our little miracle because she and all her other little cousins and aunts and uncles helped pray him into our family :)

Katee & Gehrig Come for a Visit

Katee and Drew were away in Hawaii when we got home so the first chance she had after getting back she came over with Gehrig to meet Ollie. It was so fun to see Gherig all excited about the new baby, and so sweet to see his Auntee tenderly loving him.

Shower Time!

For the record, Matt is wearing shorts! Today was Ollie's first shower with Daddy and he loved every second of it. He was super calm, just let the water roll down at him and stared up at Matt. He could have stayed in there forever!

After they were all cleaned up they had some good Daddy time!

Day Two At Home

I know I have a lot of catching up to do, and so much of this amazing journey to tell, but I'll start with precious moments from today. It is day two at home. Matt worked and it was really my first day with him all by myself. It really is hard to do much other than hold him and love him and attend to his every need, but I did get a few hours of work in while he slept. And today was all about grooming. He had his first shower- which he loved, followed by a lotion bath, hair combing, and nail filing (still only got one hand done!)

And in between I couldn't help but grab the camera and take pictures of all the faces of Ollie. It's my favorite part, just holding him, looking in his eyes and watching as he makes all kind of expressions back. Even his little poutty cries are still cute. He doesn't really cry he more like grunts in protest while he's looking at you trying to make sure you know he is either hungry, needs another burping, is trying to poop, or is getting tired. Loving every minute of being a Mom!

Missee, Matt, and Mom

Waking up on our first day home, Missee is so curious about this new little creature in our home. She just sits and stares, it's so cute!

One of my other favorite things is watching Matt be the cutest dad ever. He's always so excited to see him- my dad laughed at us because we both argue over who gets to hold little Ollie, but the truth is I am happy to share him because it makes me just as happy to see Matt's face all lit up as he spends time with him.

Mom was also anxious to get to spend time with our little bundle of joy! He's lucky to be so loved.



Heading Home

Woke up to a call from Jess that she had arrived at the house, 7:30am came a lot faster than I thought it would! I walked all over the house looking for her and found her still standing at the front door without even a jacket on- she must have been freezing! She watched Ollie while I tried to get ready. Barbara made my favorite breakfast for our last meal at her house and we all enjoyed it together before running out the door to Ollie's doctor's appointment. We were late but luckily they kept our appointment. That was a fun experience- the nurse practitioner was thoroughly confused as she kept asking me questions about the pregnancy and birth and I kept deferring to Jess to answer. Despite the fact that I had explained when we walked in that I was the adoptive mother and Jessica was the birth mother she obviously missed that fact- half way through the questions she finally said, "I'm confused, are you the mother or is she?" We set it all straight and it was all good from there- I'm sure it must not happen all that often that both mothers go to the doctors appointment but I was glad Jess was there.

Ollie weighed in at 9 lbs 14 oz, and 21 3/4" long. That puts him in the 80 something percentile for both so he is a strong, healthy, growing boy! We headed back to Barbara's afterward, Matt had done a lot of packing while we were gone but we still had a lot left to do so we jumped into packing while Jess watched Ollie. A little while into it Matt said, "Maybe we should just pack up Jess and bring her too!" I went to tell her and found her napping with Ollie- so cute!

Packing was finally done, the car was loaded and it was time to say goodbye. We were so grateful for Barb and all her hospitality- we were spoiled no doubt about it, and I knew Ollie was going to miss her too.

There were no tears but lots of hugs and pictures as we said "goodbye for now" to Jess. It will be hard to be so far away but we will forever be grateful for the time we did have to be near her in Utah.



12pm- With goodbye's over we loaded into the car and got on our way. As we pulled out of the driveway it hit me for a moment as I felt all the emotions swelling up inside- and I wondered if her drive home would also be hard. It's hard to explain all the love and gratitude I have for Jess. All I can say is l will forever be grateful for her, and will miss her company but look forward to heading back to Utah in 6 months.

My thoughts then turned to home- to my family. I sent out a text announcing that we were finally on our way! According to the GPS we were 12.5 hours away. I can't say I ever look forward to that drive. Ollie did pretty well. I would feed him in his seat and we were able to minimize the stops and made good time. He did wake up as we were crossing the boarder into Arizona. I saw the sign but missed taking a picture and didn't care enough about it to make Matt turn around, so instead I took a picture of Ollie as he crossed into Arizona. Matt of course had a good time introducing Ollie to all his dam jokes as we passed over the dam.

Ten and a half hours later we finally made it home! Dad was here to greet us, and before the end of the night Mom was here as well to hold her 27th grandchild fofr the first time. I relaxed in my own bed with Ollie on my chest and Missee snuggled up on my lap. I reminded Ollie that it wasn't his first time home, he has been here before. I still remember when Jess was here for thanksgiving the very first night after staying up late taking to her and watching him move in her stomach I laid down in my bed that night and thought "He's here in his home", and it felt a little more real than it ever had before. And now he is finally home again.