Friday, September 21, 2012

Getting ready for our big day at the temple!


Woke up early after only 4 hrs of sleep to get ready for pictures. We had to be at the temple by 7:30 and I wanted to be there early but that didn't happen! I didn't feel overly rushed but when it gets down to getting in the car that always takes longer than expected. I had stayed up the night before writing out what I wanted Matt and I to say in our interview that would be used as the intro to our video for Ollie. I wanted to keep it short but meaningful since I tend to ramble when you let me so I edited it down to what I felt said enough and had exactly all the things I wanted to say. I realized as we were driving that I had forgotten my iPad and by that time it was too late for us to go get it. Matt and I had read over it together so I decided we should just practice while we were driving. I had went over what I wanted him to say and then when it came to practicing my part the tears started flowing and I got all choked up because it is all so real now and so so close to my heart. I just stopped and said I can't practice right now because I didn't want to show up for pictures with Mascara running down my face with red swollen eyes! By the time we got through all the construction traffic we were late but Jodee was later than we were. I didn't want our clothes to get wrinkled in the car so we changed into them in the car when we got to the temple. Mom was with Jodee so she could help out, and since Ollie was too big for his blessing vest she had made a new one that was done enough for the pictures. I never got the story on how late she had stayed up or how early she had gotten up to get that done!

We were finally getting started around 8am when Nate showed up. The plan was to have Jodee from 7:30-8:30 and Nate for video from 8-9 so we had some individual time with both and some overlap. Once we started taking pictures I forgot about and had no concept of the time. While it was a bit frantic to get there and get started once we started I got to just enjoy the moment. I loved seeing my boys all dressed in white in their matching outfits, I was so glad I was able to talk Matt into letting me get him a white outfit, originally he just wanted to wear his suit. Ollie started clapping the night before and was just a doll through the whole photo shoot, he smiled and clapped away.



 
Jodee kept saying "really?" in amazement because he did the perfect little poses and smiles and was so easy. It really was joyous and made me all the more excited for our sealing. In a way it felt like getting married all over again. We got a bit of attention with that cute little boy all dressed in white and had congratulations from strangers that smiled on as they observed. Favorite parts where taking pictures on the bench, we were letting Ollie crawl around while we were focused on the camera and then all of the sudden we looked down to find him digging in the black soil and dumping it all over himself! We had a hard time pulling him away from the dirt after that, he just kept wanting to get back to it. I guess I haven't let him out much to explore like that.
 
Other favorite was when they asked Matt to squat down with Ollie and he said "I think I'll split my pants if I do!" and he did it anyway and split his pants. Everyone heard it and everyone was laughing. Nate said he has had a lot of people say that but Matt is the only one he's seen that actually split them!
 






 











 
 
When Jodee was done we did video shots with just Nate. We looked at the words of the song and picked did a few shots to match. Like "whenever I touch a velvet rose", no roses to be found but Ollie did a good job of attacking rather than softly touching some flowers for us! Ollie had been so good for most all of it, but he was finally getting hungry and tired so we fed him while Nate went ton grab the equipment for the interview.

I wanted it to be in front of the sidewalk that Matt and I strolled down the night we prayed to know which child was meant to be in our family. I will never forget the overwhelming sense of peace we had, it was almost too sacred to even talk, we were just enveloped in it as we left the temple, like a big warm hug. Hand in hand we walked down that sidewalk and Matt said to me "we're having a son!" that was the first time I knew without a doubt Ollie was meant to be a part of our family. So I wanted to do our interview in front of that sidewalk but the temple was also getting busy and we were on the opposite side so out of convenience and not wanting a bunch of people walking around us we decided to do it on the opposite side where we were, but when Nate got there, there were a bunch of loud sacatas buzzing in the trees so we had to try a different spot. We went to the other corner and it was still loud so we finally ended up right in front of the sidewalk I wanted to be in front of. There were people walking behind us but Nate said they weren't in the shot. Then we had the hard part of trying to do the interview. Matt kept making me laugh, and we had to say his part several times. Nate was laughing at us because I knew what I wanted Matt to say so I guess it as like having a child give a testimony, I would say it and Matt would repeat it. I only did my part once, I didn't say it exactly like I had written it and there were a few things I forgot that I had wanted to say, but when I was done I felt like I had said enough and it was emotional doing it so I didn't feel like I wanted to try again I just wanted it to be what was in my heart. We shall see how that actually came across on tape though!

When we finally got to the car it was 10:30! Oops, I felt horrible for keeping Nate so long! It was a fun morning though and I was so excited for the next day. Holly and Joe were flying in at noon so we headed home, stopping for smoothies on the way. I was looking forward to seeing Holly and Joe and wanted to be at the airport with Matt and Ollie to pick them up, but when I got home reality hit. The house still needed work. Maddie had tried to help with the cleaning while I was gone all week but it was still not ready and I started to lose it. I was angry inside that things weren't ready and I began stomping around trying to frantically take care of it only to feel even more overwhelmed as I saw everything and started forming the list in my head about what needed to be done. And then the rage builds because I have that struggle between how I want things- which if perfectly, meticulously immaculate!, and I know what that will take out of my time, and I think of how I would rather spend my time what it is stealing away from me if I do everything on that list in my head- which is taking me away from spending time with Holly and Joe and Matt and Ollie. When I turned to clean the rage builds because I must know that I am choosing the lesser choice, but I can't seem to let go and not be prepared for the events of the next day. So as I stomped around the house angry that I was cleaning and angry that I wasn't going to be able to go to the airport, Matt left his crazy wife who was so blissfully happy all morning.

Then I got a call...it was Marcee on the other end. I had seen that she had called earlier and had tried to call he back while we were driving but had missed her. When her voice came on the other line I was ready to unload, but instead I listened as she asked if she could host the luncheon for me, between tears she asked for my forgiveness for not having asked before. She told me how she knew it was such an important day for us and that we shouldn't be worrying about the luncheon and how Lance had asked her why they weren't doing it at their house and she was so sorry she had never offered and how excited she was for our big day and to see Ollie in the temple. She wanted to give me that peace of just being able to focus on us and to be able to go to the temple early if we wanted to. She cried and between tears of my own I said "why are you crying!" I had never even thought of having it at her house. I feel bad that she always has everything at her house and I do love hosting so we were looking forward to having it at our house because it is rare any more that everyone comes to our house now that the family is getting so large. But as all her words came spilling out I realized that she was probably right- and I could let it go. Letting her host it would mean I could lay down my list and focus on enjoying time with Joe and Holly today and a lot less tomorrow. Matt called while we were talking and he was hesitant to jump at the offer, I could tell he still wanted to do it at our house. But by the time he got home I realized that this was a gift and I needed to take it. We could have pulled it off but Marcee was right the next 24 hours needed to be focused on other things...so I let go. It's amazing how well Heavenly Father and my sister know me. I cried because I was so thankful for the unexpected gift of time, and my heart was so full of gratitude for Marcee and Lance for answering a prayer that I hadn't even been praying, but Heavenly Father knew I needed that blessing and that is why I was all the more astounded.

When Matt got home with Holly and Joe my happy countenance was back and we got to enjoy the rest of the day together. We went out for lunch, did our shopping for food for the luncheon at Costco. Stopped by Marcee and Lance's to drop off food and visit for a minute. Then we came home and while people were napping I ran to the store to pick up a few decorations. Our plan was to have everything setup at Marcee's that night so we wouldn't have anything to do the next day. My run to the store put us behind for our dinner plans, it was restaurant week and I had made a reservation for the 6 of us at Modern Steakhouse, one of my favorite restaurants, and we were supposed to be thee by 7:15. I'm pretty sure we got to Marcee and Lance's house at 7:15! We were 45 minutes late to dinner, but we decided it was better to just arrive and see if they could still get us in rather than call and have them deny us over the phone. It worked, we got in and we got to enjoy our dinner together. It was fun having the six of us there, we keep hoping we can get Holly and Joe to go on a vacation with us some day so the more time they spend with Marcee and Lance the more likely it will be that it will ever happen. We're leaving for a cruise in a few weeks with Marcee and Lance and their friends and we had invited Holly and Joe and the kids but it didn't work out for them to come, we'll keep trying though! We all had a good time at dinner. Everyone was tired afterwards and I was pleasantly surprised that Holly and Joe went with us to Marcee's afterwards because we got home late and they could have stayed at our house, in fact we thought they we going to, but after we packed up the decorations I had to take to Marcee's they walked out of the casita changed and ready to go with us.

When we got to Marcee's aunt Barbara was there snuggling Ollie (who was asleep) on the couch. I was so excited to see her and so glad to see that she got to spend some time with Ollie. She of course was super helpful setting things up. We got table cloths ironed and decorations going while Marcee worked on cup cakes. The boys started watching some castaway movie and all fell asleep. Sometime after midnight we were done so we woke everyone up and headed home for some sleep before our big day!

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