Snowboarding through the Winter of our Lives

I was asked earlier in the week to give a talk in church about recognizing the Lord's hand in our lives. The references I was given included one of my favorite talks of all time by Brother Bednar titled "The tender mercies of the Lord" https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2005/04/the-tender-mercies-of-the-lord?lang=eng#watch=video along with a few other talks on gratitude. I had a lot of menial work this week- including spending hours peeling and scraping paint of my front door which in and of itself was a blessing because it gave me time to contemplate the topic. Really it was overwhelming, thinking of all the experiences I have had in my life thus far that have helped me to see the Lord's hand in my life, and how could I even start to count the tender mercies?? Of course the topic that stands out most is our experiences with infertility and adoption but that story is 16 years long and how could I even begin to scratch the surface in 12 minutes! But like most times we are asked to talk or teach, I found that I was the one that needed the teaching. I realized that although I have come to the place were I recognize the blessings that have resulted from our trials, I had never actually thanked my Heavenly Father for them. As I opened my mind and heart to remember different experiences and to pull all the pieces together it humbled me once again to recognize that He does know me and I can better understand and appreciate the experiences I have had thus far in my life and why I needed them. 

Since I tend to talk too much and give too much detail I typed my talk out so that so could organize my thoughts and see how long it was going to take because I didn't want to steal time from the other speaker. Even in typing it out I had to cut out some significant parts of our infertility story and really didn't even begin to tell our adoption journey at all. This isn't word for word what I delivered because I tried to speak without relying on the text and on top of that my time ran out so fast that even with going a little over I just had to sit down without even sharing a single tender mercy. Someday I may have time to write it all out but the truth is if I ever do that it will be not be a blog post it will be a novel! 

So here it is a high level view of my reflections on these past 16 years...

Today I’m going to talk a bit about recognizing the Lord’s hand in our lives and His tender mercies. I think that recognizing the Lord’s hand in our lives starts with understanding the purpose of our lives. In 2 Nephi 2:25 we read:

Adam fell that men might be; and men are, that they might have joy.

Our eternal happiness is God’s great design, we were taught the plan of happiness in the Spirit world and not only did we chose it we rejoiced over it! We understood the purpose- that we would be given the chance to come to this life, to have the precious gift of a body and to pass through trials in this life that would shape us, refine us, and prepare us to fulfill his ultimate design which is to become like Him. This is the grand scheme of things, but the plan of happiness has been personized for each and every one of us. The truth is our Heavenly Father knows us intimately. He knows our potential and he knows our weaknesses. He knows where we are today and exactly what it will take to get us from where we are to where He wants us to be. It is our understanding of the great plan of happiness and our faith and trust in His design that give us hope! And I would suggest that it is our ability to recognize the hand of the Lord in our lives and to see his purposes being fulfilled through and in us that fill our hearts with gratitude.

It can be hard at times to feel joy and gratitude in the face of adversity. Especially when our sincere prayers for things that we believe will bring us great joy seem to go unanswered. Early in our marriage I offered sincere prayers for Matt and I to be able to purchase a Honda Civic, that was a nice car for us and I wrestled over the fact that everyone else seemed to have a nice car so why couldn’t we? At that time in our lives that was the extent of our trials- being able to afford the things we wanted. Those are not the sincere prayers that I am referring to today. In this past year alone we have prayed for a niece that nearly lost her life delivering a healthy boy- and her first son. Due to complications during delivery he went without oxygen for more than a minute and hours later they said goodbye. We prayed again when my cousin’s four year old son was diagnosed with cancer, again when Matt’s father had a heart attack and was in an induced comma while we wondered if we would be saying goodbye to him when he woke up. And then there are all the other trials that those near to us have faced. Which include everything from divorce, to the challenges that come with blending families, to addictions, to praying for teenagers that are struggling to make the right choices, to dealing with physical handicaps…the list goes on and on. 

For Matt and I one of the sincere prayers we have offered for what we felt was a righteous desire was to have children. It’s really impossible to share all the experiences we have had over the last 16 years of our marriage but I will try and at least share some of the defining moments. First, I am a firm believer that it was not our father’s design to make us go through doom and gloom and if we endure to grant us joy and happiness as our reward at some far distant time and date. While adversity is a reality of life we were promised that He would send the comforter and it has been my experience that we can feel joy and happiness today in spite of our trials. A few years into our marriage it was starting to become apparent that we were not going to just get pregnant like seemingly everyone else does. During that time there was one specific experience that stood out. I had a conversation at work with a guy that was newlywed that was distraught over the news that it would be difficult for he and his wife to have children. While I understood his pain I was a little surprised by his words- he expressed that they would never be able to fulfill their purpose in life now as if their life would have no meaning without children. I knew a few people that struggled with infertility that seemed to walk around with this dark cloud over them, it consumed them, and like many trials I saw that it had the ability to destroy the most precious relationship in my life- our marriage. 

For Matt and I we had both been promised children in our patriarchal blessings and I think that was one of those tender mercies that allowed us to let go, to put it in the Lord’s hand and to decide that it would happen in His time.

President Monson once said “We have all experienced times when our focus is on what we lack rather than on our blessings. Said the Greek philosopher Epictetus, “He is a wise man who does not grieve for the things which he has not, but rejoices for those which he has.”

Matt likes to tell me I am the luckiest girl alive because I am married to him, and I always laugh when he says it but I really do feel that way, he has always loved and cherished and honored me and our relationship has always been one of my greatest sources of joy, peace and comfort. And at that time in our lives I had to consciously decide that even if I had been sent to this earth for Matt alone I could be happy with that! I hate the cold and I hate winter with one single exception- snowboarding!  Isn't it funny that we actually watch and wait for the worst snow storms because it means that it is dumping snow and there is nothing better than surfing through the deep powder that is left behind. So if I can make a comparison I will compare our years of infertility to the winter of our lives and tell you that we chose to snowboard through it. Honestly in many ways it was a blissful period that was simply mixed with hard moments along the way. There was stretching ourselves and asking questions, working to figure out what faith really meant, getting answers and feeling like we were moving in the right direction only to have doors shut in our face but despite all of that we lived in the moment and held onto each other. In many ways the world was oblivious to what was happening, there were people that prayed for us and hurt for us, but truly aside from our Heavenly Father the one and only person that knew exactly what I was going through that faced the disappointments with me was Matt. The beauty of it all is those experiences took us out of our newlywed bliss to a higher degree of love and appreciation for each other.

Elder Uchtdorf once said, “"We sometimes think that being grateful is what we do after our problems are solved, but how terribly shortsighted that is. How much of life do we miss by waiting to see the rainbow before thanking God that there is rain? Being grateful in times of distress does not mean that we are pleased with our circumstances. It does mean that through the eyes of faith we look beyond our present-day challenges.”

In 2011 after 12 years of marriage and 5 years of infertility treatments we finally came to the end of the line. A year prior we switched doctors and what was “unexplained infertility” was suddenly explained and another year of treatments brought us to our last doctors appointment. It was in March and while we still had options to consider they were not options we were comfortable with so we closed that door and chapter in our lives without even shedding a tear and decided it was time to try and build our family through adoption. There is really so much more to that story but I will simply say I believe it took us that long to refine us and to prepare us for the next leg in our journey. As we made that choice we were filled with hope and were so excited to see how it would all unfold.

One of my favorite stories in the Book of Mormon is the story of the Jaradites making their way to the Americas on the barges. In that story it says that they did all they could to prepare and then they got aboard the vessel and set forth in the sea “commending themselves unto the Lord”. In many ways this is the perfect comparison to the adoption process. We did all that we could to prepare- we went through the mountain of paperwork, we fasted, we prayed, we made profiles and then we put it all in the Lord’s hand. 

The story in Ether chapter 6 goes on to describe how “The Lord caused that there should be furious wind blown upon the face of the waters, towards the promised land, and thus they were to tossed upon the waves of the sea before the wind”

“and it came to pass that there were many times buried in the depths of the sea, because of the mountain waves which broke upon them, and also the great and terrible tempests which were caused by the fierce winds”

Isn’t it interesting that the Lord gave them those winds, that they were necessary to get them from where they were to the promised land- or where He needed them to be.

What was their response? While they were in these tight quarters commended to an unknown future, literally not knowing when they would be delivered but living on the faith and trust they had in the Lord, they chose to pray, and to “Sing praises unto the Lord" and thank and praise the Lord day and night.

And my favorite part “no monster of the sea could break them, neither whale that could mar them, and they did have light continually, whether it was above the water or under the water”

That really became my motto. When things happened that were out of our control I would simply have to say to myself “no whale can break me” and the light in our lives was simply the peace that we knew that Heavenly Father was in charge and that we could enjoy happiness no matter if we were under the water or above it.

I wish I had the time to share the stories of how our boys found their ways into our arms, for us it was nothing short of miraculous. Never in my life have I seen our Heavenly Father’s hand so plainly. We have had the opportunity to come in contact with a number of expectant mothers along the way and although not all of them resulted in a child being placed with us I would not trade any of those experiences. In each and every case my eyes have been opened to see and understand the atonement in a new light. You see, our heavenly father isn’t just concerned about that unborn child’s future. We are all his children, and I have truly felt the overwhelming love He feels for those mothers that are carrying children from an unplanned pregnancy. He loves them just as much as he loves their babies and it has been my blessing to feel just a portion of the love that He feels for them. It has taught me that we are never lost to Him, we are known to Him and in our deepest and darkest moments He is always near. I have been witness to the tender mercies that the Lord pours out upon individuals to help carry them through the unimaginable.

Elder Bednar once taught, “I have come to better understand that the Lord’s tender mercies are the very personal and individualized blessings, strength, protection, assurances, guidance, loving-kindnesses, consolation, support, and spiritual gifts which we receive from and because of and through the Lord Jesus Christ” 

He went onto explain that it is “often, the Lord’s timing of His tender mercies helps us to both discern and acknowledge them… Some may count [these] experiences as simply a nice coincidence, but I testify that the tender mercies of the Lord are real and that they do not occur randomly or merely by coincidence.

In February of 2013 we met an expectant mother on Valentine’s day who wanted to place her soon to be born daughter with us. The way that it all came together seemed miraculous, like the stars had aligned in her life and in ours. But in just a matter of weeks it all unfolded when the father’s mother stepped in to stop the placement. That experience stretched me in ways I needed to be stretched, I asked questions I never had before to try and understand what having faith really meant, it changed me in ways I needed to change. But it also prepared me for one of the tender mercies that led to all of us knowing Jed was meant to be in our family. I met Sarah a few months later at an LDS Family Services activity. I had come to provide some service and show some love for mothers that had already placed and expectant mothers who were still in the process of making hard decisions. It’s a night that they called pamper night. When I heard Sarah’s voice the very first time I had my back to her and I can’t really explain it but something inside of me made me turn around, like a tap on the shoulder that I should be paying attention. Later on in the night we were introduced when she came to my table and I got to sit and chat with her as I helped her make the craft I was in charge of. At the end of the night when we were cleaning up my case worker at the time pulled me out into the hall and told me that Sarah had already been looking at our profile and that she had actually come that night because she had heard that I was going to be there and she wanted to check me out. Apparently she had enjoyed our talk and I had moved to the top of her list but she and the baby’s father were both making lists and then they were going to come together and probably narrow it down and meet a few people before they decided. The feeling I had felt when I heard her voice the very first time started to make sense so me, I didn’t know what the future would hold but I simply prayed that if it was meant to be that the father would have the same confirmation. On mother’s day I was sitting at the table with all my family when I had this sudden urge to find my phone. When I located it I discovered a new email, it was from Sarah. She asked if I remembered her and then shared that they would like to meet us, she went on to say that she had been with the father the night before and that he had told her he had picked his couple. He said “I don’t remember their names but they have a picture of their son on a surfboard” she hadn’t told him anything about us but immediately knew the picture he was referring to in our profile. Not only had their prayers been answered, but the timing, story and delivery of that answer to us on Mother’s Day was a tender mercy for us.

One of the other tender mercies for us was the discovery that Ollie, our oldest son, was conceived in March of 2011. Only a few weeks after we closed the door to infertility treatments and opened our hearts and began the process to adopt his little life began- almost like he was waiting for us. He was born that December on Christmas Eve, our little Christmas miracle. His name Ollie signifies the Olive Leaf, a symbol of peace, joy, sacrifice and healing and it truly reflects all of the things he has been not only to us but to his first mother and her family as well. It is amazing to me how his little life has changed so many of us. There is purpose in our pain and purpose in the trials we are called to pass through. I always knew that I wanted to be a mother but nothing on earth could have prepared me for the joy I would find in becoming one. Yes, it is the hardest most demanding thing I have ever done. But I could not comprehend the love I would have for them and the joy that their smiles and hugs and kisses and laughter would bring to our home. And beyond the boys themselves we have been so blessed to know and love their first parents and their families, I can not even begin to express the gratitude in my heart that I have for them!! While I wouldn’t wish infertility on anyone, I have found gratitude in my heart for our experiences as a result of it. Heavenly Father truly knows me and He knows the experiences I needed in my life to get me from where I am to where He wants me to be and for that I will forever be grateful!

 

"Anyone who imagines that bliss is normal is going to waste a lot of time running around shouting that he has been robbed.

“[The fact is] most putts don’t drop. Most beef is tough. Most children grow up to be just people. Most successful marriages require a high degree of mutual toleration. Most jobs are more often dull than otherwise. …

“Life is like an old-time rail journey—delays, sidetracks, smoke, dust, cinders and jolts, interspersed only occasionally by beautiful vistas and thrilling bursts of speed.

“The trick is to thank the Lord for letting you have the ride”  -Jenkins Lloyd Jones (“Big Rock Candy Mountains,” Deseret News, 12 June 1973, A4). 

Families are Forever! Baby Jed's Sealing

 

It's hard to believe this day has finally arrived! After a busy morning we were finally on our way to the temple to have Jed sealed to us for time and all eternity. As we drove to the temple I sang to Ollie, "I love to see the temple, I'm going there today, to feel the Holy Spirit, to listen and to pray..." I trailed off and Ollie picked up and sang "The temple is house of God" Matt and I looked at each other with big smiles and a bit of amazement as we both asked each other- did you teach him that? He must have learned it in nursery. I was enjoying the moment but at the same time our short drive to the temple felt like we couldn't get there fast enough, we just couldn't wait finally be there!

What a thrill it was to walk through the temple doors with Ollie and Jed. I'm pretty sure I had a permanent grin on my face because all I felt was a heart full of joy! Mom and Dad were the first ones there and they were quick to help with the boys as we were checked in, there was a temple worker waiting for us in the lobby and through out our time in the temple she was always there to help guide and direct me. I love how special it is to be there with all these sweet brothers and sisters that have given up Saturdays and many other days and early hours to serve. And you are not an inconvenience or part of a to-do list, they truly make you feel special and share in your joy because they have a testimony of these things and understand the eternal significance of these seemingly small moments. We caught glimpses of family and friends as we were ushered around the temple, and every wave and smile exchanged added to my joy. We checked the boys into the nursery and I was so grateful that Ollie is outgoing enough that he will let strangers carry him around- the ladies loved him and he was being so sweet. He couldn't wait to go upstairs to see the toys! The sister that had him wasn't quite a stranger, she remembered watching Ollie for his own sealing, and had also been there last month to watch his cousins before they were sealed to my baby brother Nick and his wife Natalie.

 

After dropping the boys off we went back downstairs to change. Even though I wasn't a bride, they pampered me anyway and I got to use the bride's room. It was fun to have Mom there by my side helping put me together, cinching and pinning so I wouldn't fall a part! I remember being hungry, it was close to 2pm at that point and I hadn't eaten all day so I thought at least I would get a drink of water. That was actually a harder task than it would seem. After finding Matt the worker took us upstairs on the elevator. We made a pit stop on the second floor so I could jump off the elevator and get a drink- that was the closest water fountain. I would have stayed there all day but I only had until the elevator door beeped to indicate it was closing again. When we finally arrived on the third floor they took us to the office where you check in to do sealings. Matt and I had been there just last Friday- what a special night that was. Hydee and Adam had invited us to join them for sealings and we took them up on the offer. I'm ashamed to admit that it was the first time I had done sealing since before we had Ollie. Somehow having gone through the whole adoption process, having Ollie sealed to us and anticipating our sealing to Jed one week later made that night all the more special. The very first time I was at the alter I was a proxy for a girl that was being sealed to her parents (Hydee and Adam were proxy for her parents). I wasn't expecting the rush of emotions I experienced, I have heard the words before, but somehow being the one to sit in as the child made it all the more significant, and hearing the words as if I were the child being blessed with all the same blessings as if they were born under the covenant brought tears to my eyes. All I could think was my children will be given these same exact promises and blessings as if they were born to me- there is no difference. What a blessing it is that families truly can be together forever, that there is no end to the ones we love nor to the relationship and bonds we have here. That promise gives me so much comfort and joy! We were the last group to finish sealings last Friday so our sealer took some time to stop and talk to us. I always appreciate those moments, it made the night all the more significant to be reminded of the impact of the work we had just completed. It seems like such a small thing but someday I think I will look back and wonder why it was I didn't give up more Friday nights at the movies to be in the temple. There is nothing to compare to the peace and serenity and joy that comes from being in and serving in the temple. We shared with our sealer that night that we were going to be sealed to Jed in just one week and when he found out we didn't have any particular sealer he asked if he could do the honors. I was excited to have him do it, but when we got to the office today we were greeted by another brother. He started to explain what happened but was interrupted and we never got the whole story. We were excited to hear that he had adopted three of his own children. It's funny how these people seem to be placed in our path (like the brother that gave us the sacrament at the hospital the day after Ollie was born, or the man that helped tow our truck when we were on our way to the court for Ollie's finalization). This brother had four biological children and then adopted three and his words were "there is no difference, and in fact sometimes I like my adopted children more!" He also went on to tell me about his adopted siblings and how many of his siblings had also adopted. It is always nice to be in company with someone that has an understanding of and appreciation for adoption. He then thanked us over and over again for adopting our boys. It's always a funny and almost uncomfortable thing when people thank me for adopting my children, or when they say how lucky my boys are. I guess it's because I feel like I'm the lucky one to have the privilege of having them in my life.

After a brief conversation with the sealer we were ushered into the sealing room. To that point I had been beaming with big smiles but walking into the room and seeing friends and family already seated, and the seeing my mother and right next to her sat Sarah's mother holding the blanket her mother had knit for Jed, she gave me a big smile but her eyes already glistening- it was all too much and suddenly I was all choked up and the tears were welling up. It is overwhelming some times to feel so loved and so supported. Every one in that room had offered up prayers on our behalf and Jed isn't just part of our family, he is a part of this great big family of aunts and uncles and generations that love him as if he were their own flesh and blood. And words can never express what it meant to have Jennifer and Todd there. This moment in the temple was the reason they could put aside their own desires to be his grandparents because just like Sarah and Dallin, they wanted more for him. This was a fulfillment of their hopes and desires for him to have a father and mother that he would be sealed to. And it is such a humbling thing to be the ones chosen to have the honor of being called his mother and father for time and all eternity. My thoughts then went to Sarah, who I knew was waiting outside. How very very blessed we are to be so loved and supported by her too!

I have to admit that I struggled a bit over deciding where to have Jed sealed to us. We were sealed to Ollie over the same alter that Matt and I were sealed over, which was also the same alter that 6 of my siblings were also sealed over. The first time I stepped into the Gilbert temple I felt this deep love for it, not just because we had watched it being built but because it's our temple now and I knew that I would be spending a lot of time there and that therefore I would have many special experiences there. When we went through the open house Matt and I brought Jed with us, and when we walked into the sealing room for the first time any struggle I had over where to have Jed sealed to us was gone- I knew this was the room where I wanted to start building memories and ties to the temple I would be in most often. Nick and Natalie made that same choice and it was so fun to see them sealed to their family in this very same room just a month before. I think it's also fun that the temple was being built at the same time we were building our family.

 

After Dad passed out tissue for everyone, he took his place as a witness (Uncle Richard was our other witness) and the sealer got started. He was a man of few words, he thanked us again (and again, and again) for doing this, for bringing Jed here, and then he shared with the group how he had also adopted and some of his feelings about adoption. He also talked about the blessing it will be to Jed to be raised in the gospel, the have the opportunity to have the priesthood in his home, to be taught, to bear the priesthood himself, to serve a mission and to someday be sealed to his wife. After that he called the boys in. My favorite moment was seeing those sweet boys all dressed in white enter the room. Ollie was a witness so he sat to the side and today was all about Jed. He lit up when he entered the room and didn't stop smiling. He also didn't stop looking at Daddee! He was a perfect little angel through the whole ordinance and he really did look at Matt the entire time, dishing out big smiles for him. I admit I was a tad jealous that I didn't even get a glance but watching his joy just made my heart want to explode! (I was also so nervous that he was going to spit up all over the alter, but luckily that didn't happen!) As soon as we were done I scooped him up into my arms and gave him big squeezes and smothered him in kisses- I guess he's going to have to put up with me lovin' all over him for time and all eternity now! What a joy it was to get to greet everyone that came, once again feeling so blessed for all the love and support that has sustained us through many many years, and now they are all here to share in our joy!

 

After changing and picking up the boys we headed out- there waiting in the lobby was the one who made all of this possible. Hugs and more tears- how could my heart be any more full? I know that open adoption is difficult for some, no probably most people to comprehend, but Sarah and Jess truly are two of my very best friends. We love these boys in a way that only mothers can- they are a part of our souls and the fact that they chose me and trusted me binds us together in a way that is so special. There is no one else that gets as excited as Matt and I do about every little detail and that takes the same pride in all of their accomplishments as our birth mothers do. So it was only fitting that for the biggest day of Jed's life that Sarah was there to be a part of it all. In spite of all her hopes and dreams for Jed, I know that there are still painful moments because she is the one sacrificing her own dreams in order to give him this eternal family and yes I still worry about her feelings. But I think that is also what makes us the very best of friends because we appreciate each others struggles and I would rather acknowledge her and be there for her in hard moments than...there is no other option! I think the joy of open adoption is that she does get to be there for the happy moments, she gets to be there to see him smile and to know that every one of his smiles is a tribute to everything she chose to give him. We're so very grateful that Jed will always know that this special day was a gift not only from his Heavenly Father, but from his first mother and father. It truly is about love!

 

 

 

 

 

One Step Closer...

The last few weeks I have been consumed with preparations for Jed's big day! I call it his big day, but in reality it was a big day for our family. I love that when we drive down the road Ollie will spot the temple and yell out "I see the temple!" as he points with all his might. We've had lots of cute little conversations about how he gets to go inside in x number of days and how in x number of days Jed will be his brother forever! Our conversations today were, "Today we get to go to the temple and take pictures, and tomorrow we get to go the temple and go inside!" Ollie only had one question, he wanted to know whether or not he could go to nursery in the temple- he does love nursery! But even without going inside he was excited to be on the temple grounds. When we got out of the car, he was on the side that was closest to the chapel and as soon as he got out of he was so excited pointing at the chapel exclaiming "the temple!" We all thought, if he thinks that's exciting wait until he turns around and actually sees the temple! Needless to say, he was not disappointed and all of his energy just added to the excitement that was growing inside of me as I was coming to the realization that we were less than 24 hrs away from Jed becoming part of our forever family!

 

Jed is definitely coming into his own lately, not as quiet and passive as the first 6 months of his life. Now he just seems full of life! He squeals out loud when he is happy and just to be heard, he kicks his little legs with all his might like all the energy is bottled up inside him and his legs are the only way to get it out, and he is a man on the move these days, crawling and picking up anything he can get his hands on. He has always been bright eyed and curious, excited to look out and see the world and everything happening around him. Tonight it was as if he knew how special the occasion is because he was all full of smiles and life and I loved every minute of it! 

 

What joy this happy little guy has brought to our lives. It is hard to imagine our life being anything but complete without him!



There were no "typical" shots of the boys, but Beth did capture what is typical of these brothers, which is Ollie doing some WWF moves trying to wrestle Jed, and then giving him kisses when he is a little too rough! Can't wait to see what they got on video!

And there were no typical shots with Daddee either, but this is again what is typical in our life- Daddee chasing Ollie, throwing him around on his shoulders while Jed just chills...

 

We were thrilled that Sarah was able to join us for some shots as well. Jed wanted to eat the minute she arrived- his smiles were fading and hunger was taking over. I guess that's what happens when you're working with an infant! We just rolled with it. I love how Beth was able to capture the joy you can see lighting up Sarah's face when she holds him- every breath that sweet little boy makes is a moment to treasure, and he owes all if it to her...

 

Ollie had a few moments in the spotlight too, he has newly discovered how to put his hands in his pockets, such a stud...

 

Some of the fun things that happened during pictures: Jed spitting up before we ever got the first picture (I kept him naked until we got to the temple but he saved it until I got his clothes on and then spit up probably 4 more times during the pics); Ollie- need I say more, he is always fun and luckily Uncle Richard was there to chase him around because all Ollie wanted to do was play and I kept hearing him yell out to Richard "Come and get me!"; Sprinklers! We had the boys all laid out on the grass wrestling around when the sprinklers turned on, we all made a run for it and I nearly dyed laughing watching Matt get sprayed across his hinny, as soon as we made it to safety Ollie made a run for it right back to the sprinklers but all of our yelling stopped him just before he jumped in and got all wet; another Ollie moment was trying to get his portraits and watching him make a run for it and pretending to be Iron man instead! And thank goodness Barbara and Richard came with us, they were such a big help behind the scenes!

 

Such a fun night. I was so grateful that Beth (at http://bethcurtisphotography.com/) was able to pull off the photo shoot for us, especially when I didn't ask her till the week of. She truly is talented and what a treasure it is to have this moment frozen in time! Even more than that, it is so nice to work with someone that has joy in what she does and fully appreciates what this day means to our family. I can't help but smile when I look through the pictures because it brings up every emotion- smiles for all the love I have for this precious boy, smiles for all the joy he brings to our home and family, smiles because all the hopes and dreams of being a mother some day are being fulfilled, smiles because there is nothing that I love more in this life than this sweet little family of mine, smiles because it makes my heart want to burst every time I see Matt make the boys laugh, smiles because he is an amazing Dad and I know how very much it means to him to be a father, smiles because Ollie has a brother to share his life with, and more smiles for this overwhelming love and gratitude we have for Sarah. What a blessing she is to us and how grateful we are to be sharing this journey with her! And the song playing through my head- Jed's song reminds me that tonight we are One step closer...