Families are Forever! Baby Jed's Sealing

 

It's hard to believe this day has finally arrived! After a busy morning we were finally on our way to the temple to have Jed sealed to us for time and all eternity. As we drove to the temple I sang to Ollie, "I love to see the temple, I'm going there today, to feel the Holy Spirit, to listen and to pray..." I trailed off and Ollie picked up and sang "The temple is house of God" Matt and I looked at each other with big smiles and a bit of amazement as we both asked each other- did you teach him that? He must have learned it in nursery. I was enjoying the moment but at the same time our short drive to the temple felt like we couldn't get there fast enough, we just couldn't wait finally be there!

What a thrill it was to walk through the temple doors with Ollie and Jed. I'm pretty sure I had a permanent grin on my face because all I felt was a heart full of joy! Mom and Dad were the first ones there and they were quick to help with the boys as we were checked in, there was a temple worker waiting for us in the lobby and through out our time in the temple she was always there to help guide and direct me. I love how special it is to be there with all these sweet brothers and sisters that have given up Saturdays and many other days and early hours to serve. And you are not an inconvenience or part of a to-do list, they truly make you feel special and share in your joy because they have a testimony of these things and understand the eternal significance of these seemingly small moments. We caught glimpses of family and friends as we were ushered around the temple, and every wave and smile exchanged added to my joy. We checked the boys into the nursery and I was so grateful that Ollie is outgoing enough that he will let strangers carry him around- the ladies loved him and he was being so sweet. He couldn't wait to go upstairs to see the toys! The sister that had him wasn't quite a stranger, she remembered watching Ollie for his own sealing, and had also been there last month to watch his cousins before they were sealed to my baby brother Nick and his wife Natalie.

 

After dropping the boys off we went back downstairs to change. Even though I wasn't a bride, they pampered me anyway and I got to use the bride's room. It was fun to have Mom there by my side helping put me together, cinching and pinning so I wouldn't fall a part! I remember being hungry, it was close to 2pm at that point and I hadn't eaten all day so I thought at least I would get a drink of water. That was actually a harder task than it would seem. After finding Matt the worker took us upstairs on the elevator. We made a pit stop on the second floor so I could jump off the elevator and get a drink- that was the closest water fountain. I would have stayed there all day but I only had until the elevator door beeped to indicate it was closing again. When we finally arrived on the third floor they took us to the office where you check in to do sealings. Matt and I had been there just last Friday- what a special night that was. Hydee and Adam had invited us to join them for sealings and we took them up on the offer. I'm ashamed to admit that it was the first time I had done sealing since before we had Ollie. Somehow having gone through the whole adoption process, having Ollie sealed to us and anticipating our sealing to Jed one week later made that night all the more special. The very first time I was at the alter I was a proxy for a girl that was being sealed to her parents (Hydee and Adam were proxy for her parents). I wasn't expecting the rush of emotions I experienced, I have heard the words before, but somehow being the one to sit in as the child made it all the more significant, and hearing the words as if I were the child being blessed with all the same blessings as if they were born under the covenant brought tears to my eyes. All I could think was my children will be given these same exact promises and blessings as if they were born to me- there is no difference. What a blessing it is that families truly can be together forever, that there is no end to the ones we love nor to the relationship and bonds we have here. That promise gives me so much comfort and joy! We were the last group to finish sealings last Friday so our sealer took some time to stop and talk to us. I always appreciate those moments, it made the night all the more significant to be reminded of the impact of the work we had just completed. It seems like such a small thing but someday I think I will look back and wonder why it was I didn't give up more Friday nights at the movies to be in the temple. There is nothing to compare to the peace and serenity and joy that comes from being in and serving in the temple. We shared with our sealer that night that we were going to be sealed to Jed in just one week and when he found out we didn't have any particular sealer he asked if he could do the honors. I was excited to have him do it, but when we got to the office today we were greeted by another brother. He started to explain what happened but was interrupted and we never got the whole story. We were excited to hear that he had adopted three of his own children. It's funny how these people seem to be placed in our path (like the brother that gave us the sacrament at the hospital the day after Ollie was born, or the man that helped tow our truck when we were on our way to the court for Ollie's finalization). This brother had four biological children and then adopted three and his words were "there is no difference, and in fact sometimes I like my adopted children more!" He also went on to tell me about his adopted siblings and how many of his siblings had also adopted. It is always nice to be in company with someone that has an understanding of and appreciation for adoption. He then thanked us over and over again for adopting our boys. It's always a funny and almost uncomfortable thing when people thank me for adopting my children, or when they say how lucky my boys are. I guess it's because I feel like I'm the lucky one to have the privilege of having them in my life.

After a brief conversation with the sealer we were ushered into the sealing room. To that point I had been beaming with big smiles but walking into the room and seeing friends and family already seated, and the seeing my mother and right next to her sat Sarah's mother holding the blanket her mother had knit for Jed, she gave me a big smile but her eyes already glistening- it was all too much and suddenly I was all choked up and the tears were welling up. It is overwhelming some times to feel so loved and so supported. Every one in that room had offered up prayers on our behalf and Jed isn't just part of our family, he is a part of this great big family of aunts and uncles and generations that love him as if he were their own flesh and blood. And words can never express what it meant to have Jennifer and Todd there. This moment in the temple was the reason they could put aside their own desires to be his grandparents because just like Sarah and Dallin, they wanted more for him. This was a fulfillment of their hopes and desires for him to have a father and mother that he would be sealed to. And it is such a humbling thing to be the ones chosen to have the honor of being called his mother and father for time and all eternity. My thoughts then went to Sarah, who I knew was waiting outside. How very very blessed we are to be so loved and supported by her too!

I have to admit that I struggled a bit over deciding where to have Jed sealed to us. We were sealed to Ollie over the same alter that Matt and I were sealed over, which was also the same alter that 6 of my siblings were also sealed over. The first time I stepped into the Gilbert temple I felt this deep love for it, not just because we had watched it being built but because it's our temple now and I knew that I would be spending a lot of time there and that therefore I would have many special experiences there. When we went through the open house Matt and I brought Jed with us, and when we walked into the sealing room for the first time any struggle I had over where to have Jed sealed to us was gone- I knew this was the room where I wanted to start building memories and ties to the temple I would be in most often. Nick and Natalie made that same choice and it was so fun to see them sealed to their family in this very same room just a month before. I think it's also fun that the temple was being built at the same time we were building our family.

 

After Dad passed out tissue for everyone, he took his place as a witness (Uncle Richard was our other witness) and the sealer got started. He was a man of few words, he thanked us again (and again, and again) for doing this, for bringing Jed here, and then he shared with the group how he had also adopted and some of his feelings about adoption. He also talked about the blessing it will be to Jed to be raised in the gospel, the have the opportunity to have the priesthood in his home, to be taught, to bear the priesthood himself, to serve a mission and to someday be sealed to his wife. After that he called the boys in. My favorite moment was seeing those sweet boys all dressed in white enter the room. Ollie was a witness so he sat to the side and today was all about Jed. He lit up when he entered the room and didn't stop smiling. He also didn't stop looking at Daddee! He was a perfect little angel through the whole ordinance and he really did look at Matt the entire time, dishing out big smiles for him. I admit I was a tad jealous that I didn't even get a glance but watching his joy just made my heart want to explode! (I was also so nervous that he was going to spit up all over the alter, but luckily that didn't happen!) As soon as we were done I scooped him up into my arms and gave him big squeezes and smothered him in kisses- I guess he's going to have to put up with me lovin' all over him for time and all eternity now! What a joy it was to get to greet everyone that came, once again feeling so blessed for all the love and support that has sustained us through many many years, and now they are all here to share in our joy!

 

After changing and picking up the boys we headed out- there waiting in the lobby was the one who made all of this possible. Hugs and more tears- how could my heart be any more full? I know that open adoption is difficult for some, no probably most people to comprehend, but Sarah and Jess truly are two of my very best friends. We love these boys in a way that only mothers can- they are a part of our souls and the fact that they chose me and trusted me binds us together in a way that is so special. There is no one else that gets as excited as Matt and I do about every little detail and that takes the same pride in all of their accomplishments as our birth mothers do. So it was only fitting that for the biggest day of Jed's life that Sarah was there to be a part of it all. In spite of all her hopes and dreams for Jed, I know that there are still painful moments because she is the one sacrificing her own dreams in order to give him this eternal family and yes I still worry about her feelings. But I think that is also what makes us the very best of friends because we appreciate each others struggles and I would rather acknowledge her and be there for her in hard moments than...there is no other option! I think the joy of open adoption is that she does get to be there for the happy moments, she gets to be there to see him smile and to know that every one of his smiles is a tribute to everything she chose to give him. We're so very grateful that Jed will always know that this special day was a gift not only from his Heavenly Father, but from his first mother and father. It truly is about love!