I love being in the temple! Every time I have gone when someone else is going for the first time it always takes me back to my first time in the temple. For me it was in Atlanta and it wasn't a five minute drive from my house like it is today, it was over a three hour drive. I didn't have family waiting for me in the celestial room, but it was a wonderful experience none the less. I made the trek to Atlanta with my parents and one of my favorite pictures is one we took on the way there. It was just the three of us, we stopped at a scenic overlook to take in the view. I love how happy I look, that I have both of my parents by my side and that the rolling hills of Tennessee are behind me. That picture normally sits right by me on my desk but being only half unpacked right now as we get ready for our next move it is tucked away in a box at the moment. I remember walking through the doors of the Atlanta temple and how from the moment I stepped in it felt like heaven. All the people were dressed in white and all of them were excited to have me there, welcoming me in with big smiles. There weren't that many people in the temple that day and I was the only one receiving my endowment so I felt super special. You wear a tag when you are going through for your own endowment so it was easy to spot that I was a newby but the result is you are showered with love and well wishes by these strangers that somehow feel more like a distant relative that you just haven't had the opportunity of meeting before. It truly was magical.
For me the best part was the initiatory where you receive the most beautiful blessings. I think that part was the most significant for me because the few years of my life prior to going to the temple were not necessarily times that I was proud of and it had taken some effort for me to find my testimony and make the changes in my life that lead me to the temple which was a stepping stone to serving a mission. So hearing those blessings pronounced upon me was a humbling moment. A mixture of profound gratitude and joy, knowing that I truly was forgiven. I was overwhelmingly grateful for the Savior and the significance of the atonement that made it all possible for me to be clean again and to know that I was where He and all of those that love me wanted me to be- back on the path. It's hard to really put all of the feelings in words, the feeling of being clean. I think Alma described it best in Alma 36:
17 And it came to pass that as I was thus racked with torment, while I was harrowed up by the memory of my many sins, behold, I remembered also to have heard my father prophesy unto the people concerning the coming of one Jesus Christ, a Son of God, to atone for the sins of the world.
18 Now, as my mind caught hold upon this thought, I cried within my heart: O Jesus, thou Son of God, have mercy on me, who am inthe gall of bitterness, and am encircled about by the everlastingchains of death.
19 And now, behold, when I thought this, I could remember mypains no more; yea, I was harrowed up by the memory of my sins no more.
20 And oh, what joy, and what marvelous light I did behold; yea, my soul was filled with joy as exceeding as was my pain!
21 Yea, I say unto you, my son, that there could be nothing so exquisite and so bitter as were my pains. Yea, and again I say unto you, my son, that on the other hand, there can be nothing so exquisite and sweet as was my joy.
As we waited in the celestial room I had the chance to look around and observe all the beautiful details. I was blessed to get to hear the architect of the temple speak in a fireside after the temple dedication. The agave plant is found throughout the temple and he shared with us what he saw in the agave plant that inspired him to use it as a symbol in the temple. The first being the leaves that unfold- each one making an impression on each other as the plant grows and blooms. He spoke about how significant our lives are to those we touch- how we make an impression on each other. It would be impossible to note all the people that have touched my life and made an impression on me, but most definitely Sarah and her family would be numbered among them. Not to mention the impression Jed has made on all of us, would Sarah have even been in the temple today if it were not for the impression Jed made on her life? The architect also spoke about the thorns, every agave plant has them. Instead of excluding the thorns from the design he chose to make them a significant part of the design. As I looked around the celestial room I could see the thorns everywhere. They were in the frames on the mirrors, in the gold trim found on the chandeliers, in the stained glass and details carved on the wall throughout the room. The thorns that we all have in our lives are what change us, if we didn't feel and chose to overcome the bitter, we would not truly know joy. How could we if it were not for our pains and trials? Again I thought of Sarah and thorns she has experienced and overcome. They will forever be a part of her story but so will be the joy!
As I watched Sarah come through the doors into the celestial room, welcomed by her husband and family, seeing the light and joy in her eyes and having the opportunity to embrace her I couldn't help but think how sweet the joy of the gospel is. I know her own pains have been bitter. She has shared a portion of them with me and my heart has ached for her time and time again. To think back to when we first met, the pains and trials she has endured and to see where she is now is nothing short of a miracle. As I watched her move around the celestial room being embraced by all those that love her I felt my eyes start burning and the happy tears started flowing. It was a tender moment to witness. Especially to see her mother and father and brother watching her too. Knowing how their hearts have ached for her during the difficult times, knowing how much they love her and how their only desire has been her happiness made this moment all the sweeter.
As we left the temple Jed was waiting outside with Ollie to greet us. What a blessing open adoption is. How grateful we feel to be a part of Sarah's life. To be loved and supported by her family and to be able to be there with them in their happy moments just as they have been there for us in ours. I am so grateful that our journey did not end with a painful moment leaving the hospital. I would have felt so cheated had that been the end. It's hard to think of what we would have missed out on, today being one of those moments I would never have wanted to miss! #itsaboutlove
