Stepping Stool = Trouble!

I've tried to keep Ollie involved in every little thing I have to do for Jed. He loves playing the big brother part and has been a little helper by throwing away diapers, helping me get bottles (he loves to shake them and run them back to Dad or whoever is feeding him), he helps me collect dirty bottles and this week I pulled out an old stepping stool so he could stand on it and help me wash bottles. The only problem is now that he has discovered that the stepping stool can get him to new heights he has found that there are lots of undiscovered things for him to get into. We are in trouble now! Today I found him using it to get into a new drawer where he found odd things like an orange juicer and a top to a funnel that both seemed to make for great microphones. I had to laugh out loud when he put them in his mouth and started shouting who knows what at the top of his lungs. How does his creative little mind come up with these things?

As soon as I even said his name he knew he had something he shouldn't and he ran away giggling, he loves to have you chase him and here he is daring me to take a step towards him because as soon as I do his giggly little self is going to make a mad dash to get away! I think he is taking advantage of the fact that he knows I'm not going to pick him up right now either.

He made it out to the courtyard and I was happy to let him play outside while I worked on getting some dishes done. While he loves to have attention and to have you right there with him, he is also good at finding ways to entertain himself. I couldn't help but smile as I heard him marching around chanting who knows what as loud as he could into his "microphone"

Then he found a stick which only made it all the more fun to run around with, sword fighting whatever he could find!

 

When he made his way back inside he took his stool over to another drawer- the silverware drawer. This time he pulled out a spoon and said "Cookie?" Smart little guy, I knew exactly what he meant and where he learned that from!

Every night Matt gets a spoon and gets a huge scoop of cookie dough and eats it right off the spoon, he shares it with Ollie too. So I can't be that surprised that he wants me to make him his own spoon full of cookie dough, such a smart kid and I'm a sucker! At least it is some crazy gluten free cookie dough that Matt is obsessed with from Costco haha!

When Daddee came home later he shared a bite of his with him too. (Only because Ollie ate a lot of his green beans!)

Ollie definitely keeps me on his toes, wondering what tricks he is going to teach this sweet little burrito of mine and how I am ever going to keep up with both of them! He is right on the verge of giving me some real smiles and I can't wait to see them ;)

Four Weeks Old- Baby Jed

Having surgery on Monday set me back on getting Jed's four week picture. I was discharged from the hospital late Tuesday night and have been at Marcee's ever since. Not only has she been taking care of me and the boys (I'm somewhat worthless, it's hard to get up, my stomach is bloated and sore, moving at all isn't very easy and the pain meds make me just want to sleep!) she was nice enough to go to my house yesterday and pick up some necessities- including Jed's blanket and bear so I could get some pictures. Matt left early for work and everyone was asleep but I couldn't sleep any longer so I managed to prop Jed up and get some pictures. I felt good for accomplishing something all on my own! I even managed to straighten up the room afterwards. The very hardest thing about going through the surgery and recovery is not being able to hold and take care of him or Ollie, but I feel so blessed to have such amazing family and friends to take care of me and just check in on me to see how I'm doing. Feeling horribly bloated, but so loved, and still so in love with this precious little guy!

And what the heck- I couldn't decide between these two so I'm just going to put them both on here!

Happy Anniversary Jessica!

October General Conference Sunday will always remind me of waking up to Matt running into the room to tell me we had an email! It's now been two years and I still can't quite get over it, feeling so blessed not just for this little man that has changed everything we knew and loved about life and made it all the sweeter, but also for Jess. She will always be one of my very best friends and I love that every time I look at Ollie I see her big eyes staring- make that sparkling back at me! So happy to get to talk to her today, miss her so much and can't wait for her to get to meet Ollie's little brother :) Happy Anniversary Jessica!!

You'll Always Be a Part of Me

Somehow it is harder to find time to write about the big moments that occur so this post is way overdue but today feels like the right time to share a video that I put together of our hospital experience when Jed was born. First of all, it was such a privilege for us to be there when Jed entered the world and took his first breath and we were so so grateful for the opportunity not only to be there for him but to be there for the girl we have come to love in a way that only an adoptive couple and their birth mother may ever understand. Sarah you will always and forever have a special place in our hearts and in our family! Those days in the hospital were both magical and sacred. Quite a mix of emotions. There were definitely hard moments- like watching Sarah go through so much pain to bring him into this world and being so helpless to do anything for her but be by her side. There were sacred moments like the moment he was finally here and we all saw him and heard him cry for the very first time- Sarah, her mother, and I were all in tears, even the doctor cried. There is something so beautiful about giving life and sacrificing so much so that he could have his precious little life. I know it was hard beyond measure but seeing Sarah hold him through her sobs and seeing his tiny perfect little hand reach out to touch her face was a moment I will never ever forget, through all the pain there was joy for all of us. I remember well that Sarah said she couldn't believe that she could make something so perfect, we were all amazed and he truly is a miracle! There are so many more things I could say but I will let the pictures do the talking this time. I hope that in them Jed will someday see what joy he brought to all of us, how loved he was right from the very start by the family that brought him here and made the sacrifice to give him a mother and a father and a brother that will love and adore him throughout eternity. Sarah was gracious enough to share so much of her time with him in the hospital with us and all the other people that were excited to come welcome him to the world, but the third day, the last day in the hospital she had time to spend with him alone and with her mother and father. I was grateful she had that quiet time with him to soak him in and whisper to his little soul all the things in her heart- even if she didn't say them in words I know he felt all the reasons, all the love, and what a sacrifice this was for her. I left my camera for her that day and she and her mother captured some of those moments. I hesitated to share them because they really are sacred and you can see the heart wrenching pain that it was to do what in her heart she knew was right. In the end I decided that there are hard parts of adoption and it is okay to share them because I believe that in those hard moments Jed will see how very very much she loves him. He will always know that it was a choice, a sacrifice because she loves him beyond measure, and it was her love for him that put his needs and her wants for him above her own. So while it is hard to watch the pain, I see her strength and love in those moments that are hers to cherish forever.

As for the song choice, I was asked recently about meeting Jed for the first time and "bonding" with him. It's a hard thing to explain but my answer was simply that I bonded with him well before he was ever born. Welcoming him into the world was like saying hello to someone I already knew and who was already a part of me. I think the following journal entry from August 11, 2013 will explain the reason for the song choice and also how he has truly grown in my heart all these months and honestly even all these years as I have waited for him!

Dear Jed,

Tonight when I was driving home from Marcee and Lance's house I was all alone (your Daddee and Ollie were in the truck and I was driving my own car), and there was a that song started playing as soon as I got in the car. I listened to it two more times before I got home because when I heard these words I couldn't help but think of you:

I have died everyday waiting for you
Darling don't be afraid I have loved you
For a thousand years
I'll love you for a thousand more

And all along I believed I would find you
Time has brought your heart to me
I have loved you for a thousand years
I'll love you for a thousand more

One step closer
One step closer

I got all choked up and tears crept into my eyes as I thought about you my little darling. I thought of how long I have waited for you, how blessed I feel to have finally found you, and how much I already love you and always will. I can't help but feel how special you are and I'm so excited to hold you for the first time and to be a part of the great life ahead of you- every day you are one step closer! The only thing I would change in the lyrics is that I have loved you since the beginning of time and I will love you throughout all eternity! I will be dreaming of you tonight.

All my love, 

Mommee
XOXOXO

One of the meanings or synonyms of Jed's name is "Darling." It's funny because after I heard that song on the way home that night I downloaded it and have listened to it over and over again as every day we got one step closer. There were parts of the lyrics that I didn't think matched perfectly to our situation, but after he was born when I listened to it again it took on new meaning. I thought of it from Sarah's perspective, she truly is one of the bravest girls I know (Jess being the other bravest girl I know!) and all of the sudden it did feel like the perfect song to describe our experience. And the second song, the one to the pictures of her last day alone with him in the hospital is simply because she truly will always be a part of him. So here it is, a tribute to Sarah for her love and sacrifice to bring him into the world and to make us an eternal family!

All of our love,

Matt, Loree and Ollie
XOXOXO

Schnepf Farms

It's Friday night and we wanted to get out of the house so we decided to take the boys for a little excursion with some friends to Schnepf Farms. It was fun to dress in some warmer clothes and kick off October with a little fall festivities, I've always loved holidays but having little ones now has magnified all of the fun and I couldn't wait to show Ollie every little thing. Jed- you were there buddy but I don't think you got excited about much because you still love your sleep more than you like being awake. But we were excited to take you because the very first time we met your birth father we learned that Schnepf Farms is part of his family which has made this place all the more special for us! I couldn't help but text him a picture of you when we got there and he was pretty excited to hear you had already gone for your first visit.

Thera, Brian and baby Cora have a special place in our hearts. We love seeing this happy little girl growing up so fast and are glad to have friends that love getting their baby out and about too! We stopped for a little chili and BBQ and got to listen to the band that was cracking us up with their rockin' songs- not exactly what we expected to hear there but still fun!

We had to eat fast and I of course did not eat fast enough- Matt, Ollie and Brian took off to see the pig races and Thera and I finished up our dinners before trying to meet up with them. We took the long way (probably because I was talking and not paying enough attention!) but we finally found them. Ollie's favorite thing of the whole night was meeting this gigantic cow- every day since he begs me to see these pictures of "cow"!

The kids got to see billy goats too...

After that we watched some BMX tricks and then I snuck Ollie away to go on a bumble bee ride- his first carnival ride and it was literally just the two of us on it. That is one of the benefits of going early in the month it isn't all that crowded. He saw an airplane ride that he was begging to go on, but no adults could go on it and he is still too little to send by himself, but how do you explain that to a 21 month old? We met back up with the rest of the gang just as the BMX show was ending, then we took turns watching each others babies so we could go on a little trail ride. Matt did all the driving and Ollie was laughing the whole way- it gets a little crazy with the turns and trees and dark but it's so fun!

 

It was getting late and Ollie was past his bedtime and getting tired fast, but we made it to one more ride- the carousel. He had so much fun on the horses, he kept having me move him from the big horse to the little horse right next to it and he cried when it was time to get off. Poor guy!

We finished the night off watching fireworks, roasting marshmallows, and picking up some roasted nuts and cotton candy. Such a fun night!

Three Weeks Old- Baby Jed

I probably should have looked at last weeks pictures before taking this weeks because the outfits are so similar, but that's what happens when all the days mesh together and you can't remember what you put him in anymore! Little man still has his little old man look but gets cuter by the minute! He is still an easy baby, eating every three hours, staying awake for a bit during the day and then going right back to sleep. Matt and I grab any little cat nap we can because sleep for us these days is a bit of a luxury. He does get in a good cry every now and then and we hold our breath hoping he won't wake up Ollie, when he does it means one more body in our bed!

Ollie continues to adore his little brother, sometimes a little too much! I have to be extra careful to not leave the two of them in the room by themselves, or even be too far away because Ollie wants to be right there with him hugging, and kissing, and tickling and even crawling in his bed with him. Today for the very first time I turned my back for a split second and he had picked him up and was about to try and carry him. When I was doing Jed's pictures today Ollie was supposed to be taking his nap but he kept getting out of his bed and coming in to see what we were doing. He couldn't resist trying to get in on the action- which is usually the case, anything I am doing with Jed Ollie wants to be a part of!

Tired of trying to keep him out of the shots I let him have his turn holding Jed- his favorite! And I played around with the camera trying to capture all of their cuteness together...

 

 

I just love how cute they are together, and how every day with these two is still magical!