Little Prince of Peace: Second Visit

We were looking forward to our visit with Sarah all week and it did not disappoint! We got to sit and chat for hours and I loved every second of it, and so did Jed- he was cuddled and coddled the whole time :) After a short visit Matt and Ollie had to excuse themselves to go get some Saturday errands taken care of, which left plenty of time for Sarah and I to catch up. It is fun having our girl time and I love that she loves every little move he makes and every little look he gives just as much as I do, she doesn't get tired of me talking about him either. It was also good to look back together and fill in some of the details- things we might not have known or said, experiences we had along the way. Just one more confirmation after another that we were meant to find each other. Truly amazing to reflect on all the things that happened, feelings and impressions we felt. I always feel uplifted getting to see Sarah, there are still difficult choices for her to make and steps for her to take but I am amazed at her strength and how she is allowing this experience to change her. There were no tears today, just smiles :)

I know that it may be hard for some to understand the relationship I have with both of my sons birth mothers, and I realize it may not be for everyone and every situation but my life is so much richer having them in it. They both understand me in a different way than any other woman ever will, we've shared experiences that bind us together that are unique to us and therefore it is hard to explain it to someone that has never been in our shoes. It's funny, even at our visit Sarah and I talked about open adoption. She wanted to know if we always wanted open adoption- I told her the truth that we knew nothing about it going in and when we heard about it we initially thought it probably wouldn't be for us, but our hearts changed and we opened our minds enough to believe that we really couldn't make a decision one way or anther until we met our birth mother. From the very first contacts we had in both cases our hearts went out to both of our birth mothers and everything following just came naturally because we love them. We count it as a blessing that our sons will always know the miracle of how they came to our family, and that they can know and be proud of their first mothers and the choices they have made. It was fun to hear Sarah's thoughts and experiences as well, how she also had reservations about openness. Admittedly we don't have everything all figured out and yes, someday our sons will have a say in all of this but for now we go with what feels good and right, always with what is best for our sons at the center or every decision. In our case, which may be unique, we feel overwhelmingly blessed each and every time we have the opportunity to see our sons birth mothers and their families and feel like it is a good thing that our sons will know they have been there and have loved them all along. And no, we don't think it will be confusing for them. I am their mother. I hear those words every single day and it isn't just something Ollie says, he knows who his parents are! Their first parents are more like an extension of our family and there is no limit to the number of people we can love and call family!

I guess I share all of that because people have asked if visits are hard for us, and hard for them. The answer is no, we look forward to any time we get with our birth mothers and it is not something we do because we have to, we do it because we want to. A way to compare it would be to say that it's the same excitement you would have when any friend or loved one comes to visit. I hope in the pictures you will see a glimpse of the joy we felt at our visit today. It warms my heart that Sarah loves Ollie too and that she is just as excited as he is that Ollie has a baby brother! :)